The Bachelor: Three+ minutes in heaven, Kacie B blows it and Tierra tumbles

This past week’s episode of The Bachelor was action packed and I’m excited to break down some of the key components:

First off, how much do you love Lesley M? There’s pretty much nothing that I don’t love about her.  Her blush pink lace date dress was adorable and showed off what a knockout body she has.  She is so down to earth and has one of the most normal personalities of any of the women we’ve seen in a long time.  She’s not running around the house like a hyena screaming about how excited she is to be on the show or how “amazing” everything is.  She’s smart, sexy and goes with the flow.  She’s also remarkably calm and reminds me of my former hair dresser who recently moved back to Ireland.  I am constantly doing a double take when I see Lesley on screen.  She’s got beautiful hair as well – maybe they are related?  Lesley’s last name is “Murphy” so she must have some Irish blood in her too.  All in all, she’s got total chemistry with Sean and I was getting the “giddies” watching them together.  She’s from a close family, her parents are still holding hands and she took AP classes in high school.  Self-proclaimed nerd alert – I love her!

I liked the creativity of Lesley and Sean’s date – cheap way to have them make out on their first date in front of as many people as possible.  More impressive than their 3+ minute kiss was the fact that Sean’s father has a Guinness World Record for the fastest time traveling the 48 congruous states in 97 hours and 7 minutes.  Like father, like son in record breaking endeavors.  I was hoping that the kissing would be a bit more complex than a simple lip to lip lock, like some in between kisses and maybe even some tongue but I guess that increases the risk of lip separation and therefore forfeit.

How awkward for an entire first date to revolve around one long smooch with total strangers cheering you on while multiple cameras are doing close-ups the entire time.  What if you forgot to get a lip wax?  What if you realized you had onions in your breakfast omelette and forgot to brush your teeth?  What if you can’t breathe through your nose?  What if you have to sneeze or go to the bathroom really bad?  I’m so impressed with their stamina.

The group date was a prime opportunity to inspect the bikini bodies on the majority of the ladies and also get yet another glimpse of Sean’s tan, toned abs. Yum.  The Husband observed that besides Tierra and Selma, none of this season’s women are really busty.  I hadn’t noticed, so thank goodness he’s around to point this kind of stuff out. I suppose this is a disappointment to the men watching, but I think they women are attractive enough to retain male attention.  There should be a rule for these competitive group dates that anyone on the losing team who cries should be sent home immediately.  That goes for you, Kristy and Other Leslie.   Kristy’s lumineers would be enough to send her home, but that with the crying – the decision is a no-brainer.

But let’s fast forward to a couple of things that occurred on the group date which I don’t understand:

(1) Why is Lindsay suddenly babbling about how she’s decided Sean is her eternal soul mate?  Where is this coming from?  Her speech about him having all the qualities she’s looking for and blah blah blah, was horrifying.  Shockingly, Sean must have not been as appalled as I was because he gave her the group date rose.  Lindsay seems sweet and all, but I’m not sure there’s much there depth wise.

(2) We MUST dissect the Amanda / Desiree conflict and then Kacie’s B subsequent diarrhea of the mouth around this conflict.  So we all knew that wide grinned Amanda was pissing off people left and right last week with her Jekyll and Hyde personalities.  This week, she’s just overconfident and this is rubbing Dez the wrong way.  I get this – they don’t like each other.  But just how on earth this affects Kacie B in any way, I don’t get.  I’m not sure what her “plan” was in telling Sean about the conflict and how it was affecting her enough to say something to him about it.  In my opinion, this was one of the WORST moves in Bachelor history.  On second thought, it has potential to be the most epic failure of any bachelorette’s private time with any Bachelor in the show’s history.  Not only because her concerns made absolutely no sense, BUT because we ALL know (including Sean) that talking about other girls was Kacie’s downfall on Ben Flajnik’s season.  Let’s refresh our memories: Kacie B approached Ben F and confessed how horrible of a person Courtney Robertson was.  How successful was this move originally?  Let’s see.  Ben F basically scolded her for bringing it up, eventually dumped her and then oh yes, picked Courtney to be his bride.  You’d think she would have learned her lesson.  Besides not learning from her past mistakes, we now know that Kacie B is completely caught up in the game.  Doesn’t she know that you have to completely ignore everyone else around you and be 100% focused on the Bachelor?  Plus if you’re going to say something, have a point.  Like – Amanda is fake and she’s fooling you.  Or Dez is sweet, but kind of looks like Popeye’s girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and may be a bit naive.  Instead, Kacie’s just saying that the drama between two other girls is bringing her down?? I don’t get it!  This conversation was like watching a car crash.

(3) When is Sean going to give red-headed Jackie a chance? I like her.  The Husband thinks she’s cute. But she’s not an aggressive type, so not sure this will happen.  I’d also like to see Robyn get a little more into the game. I’m sick of watching Amanda and Dez fall over Sean and I wasn’t impressed with Dez’s “I’m a little deeper than the rest of these girls and I can be serious and spiritual too” speech.  I think I liked Dez better last week when she wasn’t so insecure and weepy.

Then we’re all set for AshLee’s big date with Sean when BAM.  Or bam bam bam bam, Tierra falls down the stairs.  First off, shame on the editing of the show for making it look in the previews like one of the girls pushed her down.  Second, I think these girls were a little unforgiving.  I do NOT think she purposely would make herself fall down all those tiled stairs and hit her head for attention. She doesn’t need it – Sean adores her and she knows it.  The timing was unfortunate as it definitely put a damper on AshLee’s date, but still, I don’t think Tierra is the devil for falling down stairs and refusing medical attention.

As for AshLee’s Six Flags date – what a fun idea to have a theme park all to yourself with Mr. Perfect.  And yes, I liked the charity date idea. But that usually works best for a group date, and not for a first date which is one on one.  I sensed a sort of awkwardness in AshLee’s head that was saying, “What the hell are we going to do with 2 extra pre-teens to entertain on our date all day?” but she quickly adjusted her attitude.  In fact, AshLee was an incredible sport for going with the flow and this made me go from thinking of her as potentially crazy organizer / emotional lady to an admirable, strong hearted and confident potential dark horse in this competition.  Not to mention she is absolutely stunning.  Loved her date outfit, though not sure I would have chosen such high heeled sandals to walk around an amusement park in.  I didn’t expect to like AshLee as much as I did, but once she revealed the story about meeting her father and it made Sean’s eyes well up, I actually felt something.  I was also relieved to see that AshLee and Sean did at least get a little bit of alone time to properly smooch it out.

A few comments about the pre-rose ceremony party.  I almost burst into tears when that Sean escorted Sarah out to the limo to surprise her with a visit from her dog!! How priceless was that?  Sean is a HUGE dog lover, so that is a plus on the Sarah scoresheet.  What an awesome surprise! That may be the first Bachelor dog who rode a limo.  I wonder how he arranged for that without her knowing. How did he know where the dog was staying?  I loved that he arranged something special for her since she wasn’t on any of the dates this week.  Still loving Sarah as one of my top 3 favorites for Sean.

Dez’s insecurities really came out during this party.  Her little white sweetheart back white dress (here’s a link to the dress in red: http://shop.shopteddy.com/collections/cut-outs/products/hearts-desire-dress-in-red) was a bit ’50s prom for me, but she looked cute – until she started freaking out that Sean never came back to the bench where he got re-stolen by Tierra.  Calm down, Dez.  During your 30 seconds with Sean, you were making out with him, so I think that’s a pretty good sign he’s keeping you around.

So equally disappointing to Kacie B’s epic speech to Sean was her dress / hair at the rose ceremony.  Was that an athletic dress used for tennis or jogging and did it have light reflecting qualities?  Why did she go with the poofy pony?  At this point, I just feel bad for Kacie.  This was the biggest crash and burn I’ve seen and I think Kacie knew it at the end.  No tears in the limo – just regret for how she acted.  And Sean being the class act that he is, pulls her aside to privately end things.  Between this move and delivering Sarah’s dog to her as a surprise, are we all not in love with Sean right now?? What an incredible person he is!

Thankfully we were able to bid farewell to Kristy’s teeth, tears and Taryn, who we haven’t learned much about.  It looks like next week we’re going to witness history as it appears Sean will take the Other Leslie on a date and that will signify the FIRST one on one date with an African American contestant in the show’s history.  This is also the further than any African American woman has gotten in Bachelor history (and there are two of them).  This is definitely cause for celebration.  We’ll also get to see Sean and Selma together which is critical and Selma is beautiful, but we need to know if there’s anything more there.

And with that, my Bachelor friends, I will bid you good night.  I’m catching the 6:23 AM train tomorrow morning for an 8 AM meeting in Stamford.  Time to go prepare for the week ahead.  Can’t wait to hear all your thoughts on your favorites, what you thought of this week’s episode and whether you have any idea what led to Kacie’s illogical “chat” with Sean (and why she was wearing a finger cast when Sean escorted her out).

Til next time, please leave a comment here, or “Like” my Facebook page at http://facebook.com/OfficeStace or “Follow” me on Twitter (@OfficeStace).