'Bachelor Pad' If You Don't Have Something Nice to Say (review)


There’s nothing quite as insulting as when your own boyfriend doesn’t think you’re marriage material.  The direct bashing that went on during the competition on last night’s Bachelor Pad was pretty spectacular.  Where else can you openly declare once and for all which person has the worst boob job?  It got pretty nasty, but let’s face it – this is what they all signed up for. 

The writers certainly crafted these questions with specific people in mind.  Blame it on them.  It was a mean game but they all agreed to play it.  I loved that Tenley was super pumped but pretended to have mixed feelings after she basically told Gwen she was a moron and won the competition as a result.

I have to say, I was completely flabbergasted (is that how you spell it?) that Kovacs went to comfort Elizabeth after the insult competition.  He admitted to really caring about her.  He never used the “L” word, but basically he said that he needs to tell Elizabeth how beautiful she is, and fed her lines that every woman needs to hear after being told that they are mean and ugly (“They’re just jealous, Honey.”).  That’s love.  So now after Elizabeth basically threatened him into being her boyfriend, he has actually admitted that he’s into her too.  I have no idea how this works, but good for them.

Watching Tenley and the Kipper together was both a relief and extremely irritating.  Does Tenley’s voice really sound like that?  Can she not go a few octaves lower?  Does Kiptyn find all of her makeup and baby talk attractive?  Her screams on the zip line were out of control.  She looked like a koala ready to pounce on Kiptyn at the first indication that he was interested.  Thank goodness he seems to be.  They are both petite people with morals.  Tenley still thinks she’s in a Disney movie and it was a relief to see she has not lost her Ariel the Mermaid spunk since getting rejected by Jake. 

The best part of their date was when Kiptyn tried to tell her that when they get back into the house, he is going to ignore her.  She didn’t really like that.

The Peyton / Jesse date started off well, but then I guess hanging out in an airplane hangar with nothing to do but mix vodka with champagne can result in belching and non-romantic like behavior.  Good for Peyton on being able to recognize that the eye candy of Jesse is not so attractive when he tries to pick her nose.  She really handled herself well considering that most of the girls would have run to the fantasy suite with this guy regardless if he was belching in their faces or peeing on the floor.  She may have been the first bachelorette in history who rejected the fantasy suite because she actually was not interested in the guy.  Peyton is by far the coolest girl in the house. Once she said that her favorite food was funnel cake and beer, I started to really like her.

The rest of the episode was pretty uninteresting.  The testosterone levels between Wes and Dave were heated, but who really cares?  I loved that Wes was trying to manipulate Nikki’s vote by sweet talking her under a bunk bed.  Good for Kiptyn, once again, for sticking to his morals and not giving a blanket veto to Gwen simply because his friends wanted to.  He actually sought her out to see where her head was at.  This did not bode well for Krisily, who not only was deceived by Dave, but made a very dramatic speech upon exiting that the couples would win it all if people didn’t get rid of them.   Angry is an understatement for her.  At least now she can begin her career as a bump-it spokeswoman.

The most interesting part of the whole 2 hour show (which could have easily been condensed into 45 minutes) was that they announced the Dancing With the Stars cast!  For the first time, I actually knew all of the women. 

I almost jumped off the couch when I saw Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing will be on!  Nobody puts Baby in a corner! There, I said it.  Couldn’t resist. 

If you are interesting in reliving one of the greatest movies of all time, check this out: www.dirtydancingfestival.com. I carried a watermelon?! Baby is 50 now, and hopefully can keep up with the likes of Bristol Palin (what on earth is she doing on this show??!) and Audrina Patridge (does she have the brain capacity to learn intense dances in such a short timespan?). 

Good to see Carol Brady will compete and I’m sure Brandi will be great. 

As for the guys – I’m looking forward to seeing how The Situation does.  And maybe Knight Rider, but the rest are not as interesting as the unique assortment of ladies.

That’s all for now. 

Next week’s Bachelor Pad looks dramatic as they are cutting down numbers faster.  This is both good and bad.  Good because it means this show will be over quicker, but bad because do we really want to see a finale with Nikki, Gwen and Dave?  No thanks.  Anyhow, enjoy this last week of summer.  ‘Til next time. 

By Stacey Becker

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