'Bachelor Pad' unknown qualities of remaining competitors (review)


The good news is that we only have to watch Bachelor Pad for one more week.  The bad news is that we will have to witness Tenley perform another dance to get there.  Once the three least appealing ladies in  the house were eliminated (buh-bye Gwen, Nikki and Ashleigh), the couples could happily be couples (except poor Peyton who knew she was  a gonner as soon as she dropped that last water balloon).  Spin the Bottle this week was pretty lame – at first I thought the guys would  have to kiss each other, but turns out they might as well have picked  a number out of hat. There were 0 surprises on who each of the guys  would pick.  Why did the men get the final say as to which of the  ladies went home?  It really gave them all of the power.

Monday night’s episode spotlighted several unknown qualities about the  remaining competitors which we have never learned before:

(1) Elizabeth must have paid her fellow cast members not to be named  “the stupidest,” on last week’s show.  I have a very hard time  believing that Gwen could have been dumber than Elizabeth.  The things coming out of Elizabeth’s mouth when she was trying to remember very  basic information about her boyfriend of six months (his brother’s  name, where he went to college, his birthday) – were simply impossible  for her.  She couldn’t even remember the name of the herbal supplement  she takes to improve her memory.  Her own boyfriend put it best,  “Elizabeth has a screw loose.”  Uh, yeah – but maybe Kovacs does too,  as why on earth would he choose to date someone like her?  It was  justifiable, at least, when she was threatening to bring all the girls  against him, but now that it’s up to him to choose who stays with him?  Maybe he’s just fearful of his life at this point or he has a  death wish.  Regardless, I would love to see a show that just focuses  on the two of them – and watches her completely unravel when he has  absolutely no obligation to be with her.

What was up with Elizabeth’s post-coital declaration that Kovacs was  not romancing her enough?  What did she expect?  She suggests making  out in Dave and Natalie’s Lamborghini, then proposes sneaking into the  fantasy suite, then fully agrees to get naked and go for it with  Kovacs.  Then when all is said and done, she picks a fight with him because he’s not romancing her enough.  This girl needs a slap in the  face.  I can’t take her anymore!

(2) Could anybody be more shallow than Dave?  Maybe it’s me – I’m not  much of a big brand name car person, but Dave’s eyes lit up like a kid  in a candy store when he saw that car.  Combine this car with the  trophy wife and add back in father issues, and you’ve got the makings  of a disaster.  Did Dave say he threw a chair at his father the last  time he saw him?  Physical anger seems to be a very big turn on for  Natalie.  She should run very fast (or take the car) and get away from  this guy while she still can.  I still have horrible memories of Dave  from how he treated Jillian on her season.  It’s amazing that Bachelor  Pad is actually painting Dave as a sympathetic character.  I did not  forget the way he bullied Juan or what a jerk he was to Jillian.

(3) Jesse B is actually a nice guy.  I loved how he comforted Peyton  after she messed up their balloon toss.  I doubt Dave would have  reacted the same way.  Yes, the way he peels his bananas and pulls  screws out of his knees is more than slightly strange, but his sunburn  face and light blue eyes are quite charming and I like watching Peyton  keep him in line.

It seems like Bachelor Pad finally got started this week.  Because  really, people are much more interested in whether Natalie is going to  get naked again than why Nikki can’t find love.  And they make Gwen  out to be this ancient spinster Cougar lady, when really she is quite  attractive and certainly young enough to find love in her future.  Having the remainder of the competition be all about the couples is  quite a slap in the face for the singles who couldn’t find love on the show.  BTW, does anybody find it strange that less than two weeks  earlier, Natalie was head over heels hot for Jesse B? She seems to  have gotten over that pretty quickly.  Also, where is Jake? I thought  he makes an appearance at some point.  Perhaps on the Dancing with the  Stars finale he’ll give some tips as a veteran.  I’m already rolling  my eyes at this thought.  What a nice plug for the upcoming Dancing  with the Stars. I can’t wait to see how nuts Elizabeth will go when  Edyta (hottest female body on earth) practices her dancing with Kovacs  and rubs her spray tanned toned abs against his.

Was anybody else completely grossed out when Kiptyn was cutting up  that raw chicken?  I’m not a vegetarian at all, but something about  the massive amount of uncooked pink poultry seemed kind of nasty,  particularly with Tenley peeking her pink little face into his ear to  talk strategy.  For some reason, she seems far more into him than he  is into her.  I hope he doesn’t break her heart.  She seems so fragile  and just loves thanking him for every thing that comes out of his  mouth.  I was happy to see Tenley’s face light up when Chris Harrison  announced that next week’s competition would be ballroom dancing.   Tenley totally stole my “Kip-Ten” line from last week’s post.  Ah  well, I’ll let her borrow it.

As for Peyton and Jesse B, I was sad to see them go, but I think  Peyton may have put herself into the running for a future Bachelorette  show.  She certainly was the most liked female in the house and  carried herself with class.  They’ll have to find her a nice Southern  gentleman that can eat funnel cake with her.  Of course, I’m pretty  sure that if her time on the show was longer, Jesse B could have found  a way back into her heart.

Thankfully we’re almost done with this nut job of a show.  Enjoy the week!

By Stacey B