Lobbyists require access to Capitol Hill in order to do their jobs – and anybody familiar with that part of Washington DC knows that it’s expensive to locate in that area. This special report, sent to RBR-TVBR from the virtual pen of International Broadcasting Network Paul Broyles, details what Congress is going to do about it. Note: The plan might look oddly familiar to television broadcasters.
Here, in its entirety, is Mr. Broyles’ report:
Have any of you heard about the new Congressional Office Policy? It’s similar to President Obama’s National Broadband Plan.
Here are the essentials:
1. Half of all Congressional offices will be auctioned off to lobbyists, who are facing a critical shortage of office facilities.
2. Members of Congress will be repacked into the offices that remain.
3. Senior members of Congress who voluntarily relinquish their offices will receive an unknown percentage of the net auction proceeds. However, junior members, who are deemed to be secondary, will receive nothing.
4. Members of Congress who refuse to voluntarily give up their offices will be subjected to confiscatory fines and office space fees.
5. If a senior member of Congress is unable to find someone to share an office with, he will receive help. Junior members, being secondary, will just have to close shop.
6. It may turn out that Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell are forced to share the same office. Same thing for John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi. That’s tough, but there’s nothing that can be done about it. The lobbyists’ critical need for office space is urgent and must be met.
Of course, this is ridiculous and offered only in jest. Sadly, the National Broadband Plan is far more ridiculous, but it’s deadly serious and about to be rammed down our throats with no concern that it will be devastating to broadcasters, the public and the economy.
Paul J. Broyles, President, International Broadcasting Network
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