Here are the actual quotes from the Howard Stern interview airing tonight and Thursday night on Fox News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor." Stern tells O'Reilly that he's a "lock" to succeed on satellite radio, but may retire from the medium in five years.

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Stern commented on the following:

ON WHETHER HE'LL SUCCEED IN SATELLITE RADIO/SIRIUS WILL MAKE PROFIT:

"Of course they (Sirius) are going to make money. Satellite radio is inevitable. Because FM and AM radio have been so regulated, so overly commercialized, because the content has been so watered down, guys like me who make people laugh in the morning and appeal to millions of people, we can't do our act anymore. So guess what's happening? Satellite radio will succeed. Much like cable television, which you are on, has succeeded because you can program. . .

O'REILLY: But we've succeeded but MSNBC is a disaster, so it's not a lock.

STERN: Trust me. With me, it's a lock.

ON RETIREMENT:

" . . . the channels [that he's developing] can even live on after I somehow go off into the sunset. I might stop the radio in five years but I don't think I'll ever stop being creative."

ON HIS MOTHER:

"My mother got me a subscription to Playboy when I was 13 . . . she said to me, 'I want you to know something -- the women in Playboy are freaks. You're not going to meet too many women with those kind of bodies.' She said, 'Take a look around you. Those are real women. But if you want to look at a naked body, I could care less.' And you know what? I got the Playboy once or twice and I think that was the end of it. You know what I mean? It's not a big deal -- sex."

ON BEING IN THERAPY:

"It's made me a much better dad . . . I found that I'm very closed off and that's how my father was with me. It changed me around a lot."

ON WHAT HE WANTS TO GET OUT OF GOING TO THERAPY:

" . . . to become more connected with people. To be a better father. That's really important to me. Not that I think I've been a horrible father but I want to be there"

ON HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER

"He supported me in his own way. He was one of these guys who would get me piano lessons. . . . he was always trying -- I think he was afraid for me. I think he saw me falling down a path that was never going to come to fruition in a big way. I'd be a ne'er-do-well. A radio guy like me would not make money. . . . [He was] very traditional. When I got divorced, it was a hard blow to him, more so than even my mother."

ON THE FACT THAT HE HAS "NO FRIENDS":

" . . . I don't have any friends. I don't want any friends. Anyone who knows me knows I hang out with my girlfriend and I don't have the time to form some sort of relationship that's not healthy . . . I think it's a real personality flaw. I think I put too much into my work. I don't think it's healthy to isolate yourself like that and I think it says a lot about me and it's not a positive thing. I wish I would take more time with my friends . . . I think to a degree I'm selfish, but I also can be very generous."

ON HOW HIS SATELLITE SHOW WILL BE DIFFERENT:

I am tired of being harnessed. I want to get back to what I was doing 15 years ago . . . I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good"

ON THE CONTENT OF HIS SHOW

". . . there will always be lesbians on this show. I make this vow to you. As long as I'm breathing, there will be lesbians. I will give the people lesbians, because there is nothing sexier in this world than two women getting it on."

ON HIS NEW SALARY:

"No, it's not in the ballpark. I am not making $500 million, but I'm making a lot of money."

ON HIS AUDIENCE:

"The secret to my show isn't dirty words. The secret to my show isn't potty humor. The secret to my show is honesty, reality -- that I will say the truth . . . It's not just blue collar guys. People like to think it's like a bunch of beer-guzzling guys . . . I have probably the most educated audience and highest grossing income audience . . . It is a phenomenal audience, a brilliant audience."