'Frank' dumps Ali 'The Bachelorette' everything's Hotter in Tahiti (review)


After this week’s episode, I can honestly say that I still have a Bachelorette hangover. Tahiti was beautiful, emotional and hot enough to make poor Roberto sweat through his romantic dinner and the rose ceremony. I got choked up about three times – why on earth this show makes me cry, I have no idea.

A few observations from this week:

Could Chris L be any hotter? I loved his red/blue plaid shirt. I love the way he is with Ali – funny, happy and the way his face gets flushed every time they make out. I am not sure there is any way Ali could possibly choose anyone else, but as The Husband observed this week (my enthusiasm for Chris L has strangely transferred to The Husband), “I’m selfishly hoping that Ali doesn’t choose Chris L, so we can see him be the next Bachelor.” OMG, I have created a monster!

My sister disagrees with the Chris L choice – she’s in love with Roberto. I think these two are the best final two we have ever seen in Bachelor/ette history. My mother thinks that Ali chooses nobody and I am just wondering what could possibly make the finale “the most dramatic ending” ever as Chris Harrison alludes to. The Husband and I were discussing this earlier this week and went through all of the dramatic endings we could remember from Bachelor/Bachelorette past. A couple of our favorites: Brad Womack choosing nobody. DeAnna choosing Jesse the snowboarder over the “safe” choice of Jason the philanthropist single dad. Jason choosing Melissa, proposing, then dumping her on the aftershow and hitting on Molly. Jillian receiving THREE marriage proposals, in particular, one from Reid, who came back on the show to declare his love and propose. Those were probably the top 4, except perhaps when Jesse Palmer had to dump Tara while the girl he chose watched from the second floor of the mansion (very awkward moment). I also loved the very romantic Trista and Ryan ending. Ok, back to Tahiti…

At the beginning of the episode we see this ridiculous packing montage where we learn that Chris L and Roberto are throwing out the “L” bombs regarding Ali (for pictures go to http://bachelorlove.blogspot.com). They’re both falling in love. Watching Roberto pack up his “Lion King” CD (um, who has CDs anymore – wouldn’t he just download those songs on iTunes?) was too cheesy. I wonder what mastermind told him to do that. Was he planning on playing this CD in Tahiti? He certainly could have dropped it off at his parents’ house last week, but I guess he wanted to hear, “Hakuna Matata,” one more time with the Tahitian waves crashing in the background to drown out her smooching with Chris.

And then we get to Frank. Ugh, Frank. This guy is such a mess. Watching him try to describe how he was falling in love with Ali and how this made him realize that he was in love with his ex girlfriend Nicole, was annoying for multiple reasons: (1) The Husband is not convinced they were actually broken up when they went on the show; (2) Doesn’t Nicole care that he’s spent the past few weeks making out with Ali, just introduced her to his parents, and thought he was falling in love with her? (3) How on earth does Frank know he’s going to spend the rest of his life with Nicole when just last week he was talking about proposing to Ali?

To all of you who commented that you think Frank won’t last with Nicole – neither does Chris Harrison.  I really hope they’re not setting this up for Ali to choose nobody, Frank to break up with Nicole and then beg Ali to give it another shot at the After the Final Rose segment.  That would be ridiculously lame and such an insult to the two perfectly wonderful remaining men.  Frank is visibly shaken during the entire episode – minus one brief part – when he’s with Nicole and she indicates that she’ll take his sorry self back.  He cracks a smile. This is actually the first genuine smile we see from Frank since the very first episode of this season. To his credit, it must have taken a lot of guts to fly half way around the world to dump The Bachelorette. I also thought he did a decent job of trying to explain what went wrong. I agree that it would have been difficult to tell Ali that he was having feelings for someone else. Honestly – what would Ali have done at that point? How do you think about getting engaged to someone knowing they are having doubts because of another girl? I don’t blame him for keeping that to himself and trying to figure it out on his own. I also don’t blame him for packing a really big suitcase – hey, if you’re going to fly hours and hours to Tahiti to break up with someone, you might as well stay a while and enjoy the facilities. I was wondering whether the guys all stayed at the same resort. Could they see each other? What were Roberto and Chris doing while Ali was bawling her eyes out with Frank? I so wanted her to show up at one of their rooms seeking comfort, but I guess that never happened.

I think it was pretty clear from Ali’s reaction that Frank was the front runner leading up to this week’s dates. She was too upset for this not to be the case. As I watched Ali cry into her hands and tell Frank once again that she gave up everything to be on the show, I wanted to shake her – does she not know how awesome a life with Roberto and/or Chris L could be? They are so much more stable, mature and are openly telling Ali that they are falling for her, that they see their lives with her. Why is she so upset about Frank? The worst part about this, is that she seems so fragile and really insecure. She thinks there’s something wrong with her because of Frank’s actions. Her self image is really warped, and that’s sad to see. She’s got two perfectly perfect guys left and this does not seem to be enough. It’s so frustrating! I wonder what her reaction would have been had Roberto or Chris L given her a similar speech. Ali reveals in her blog that she was previously dumped by an ex who went back with his ex girlfriend, so I guess this opened old wounds.

I really hope Ali can pull it together over the next week or so with her last two choices and that her heartbreak doesn’t overpower her emotions of love for Chris L and/or Roberto. I also really wish she’d stop saying that she gave up everything to be on the show. Didn’t everybody put their lives on hold to come on the show? It’s not like she dropped everything to go do manual labor. She’s being wined and dined and schlepped first class all over the world. I have a hard time feeling sorry for her when she says this nonsense. I am sure the show is paying her a pretty penny to be The Bachelorette. So yes, she gave up her job, but she also landed a pretty good gig being paid to search for love.

One more mention of Frank before I say goodbye to him forever: was that Nicole’s apartment? Or did they set up the shot in a hotel? Did anybody else think that this conversation was scripted? Nicole barely said anything at first and Frank was actually quite articulate in between the long pauses of silence. Is this a reenactment of a conversation they had privately off camera? The Husband isn’t buying this strange scene. He says, “It’s bull#$!!. They were never broken up.” I will conclude the Frank saga by saying that his pores look really unfortunate in high definition TV.

Alright I lied – one more thing about Frank after reading Ali’s blog this week.  She says she had specifically talked to Frank about his ex girlfriends during a previous date and they had a talk about his ex in Paris, who was not Nicole.  Then once Justin pulled his shenanigans, Ali demanded that the guys tell her if any of them had anything going on back at home.  Again, Frank said nothing.  I guess that would have been a good time to speak up and tell her that he’s having some lingering thoughts of his ex, but that’s not exactly date conversation, especially when he’s competing against the other guys.

I am going out of order here, but it’s only so I can focus on my favorite part of the episode: the Tahiti dates with the two hottest finalists in Bachelorette history. Ali frolicks in the water and does an Ariel from Little Mermaid hair flip in the water. I pointed this out to The Husband who reminded me that ABC is owned by Disney. Ahhh, so true!  Did anyone else catch that?

The Roberto date was sizzling. I agree with Ali that Roberto IS hotter in Tahiti (literally). The poor guy was sweating his way through the fantasy date. Ali notes that while they were “up talking all night” the temperature climbed to 100 degrees in the fantasy suite – I wonder if this was weather related or from whatever they were doing in there – and they had to sneak out of their room to get to Ali’s room for some relief.  I guess they weren’t allowed to leave their rooms at night.  Roberto is such a genuine and wonderful guy. I love that he talks about the possibility of proposing to Ali as an honor. He’s got it real bad for her. The helicopter ride to the heart shaped island followed by lots of making out in the crystal clear water looked unbelievable. They have a ton of chemistry – but I’m wondering whether they actually have anything in common once they stop looking at and groping each other. When they played the Latin lover guitar music while they frolicked on the deserted island together, I thought that was a bit much and yet appropriate all at the same time. So then it’s nighttime and Ali appears in a nighttie?? What was that dress? Hands down it was the sluttiest dress ever worn by a Bachelorette on the show. Not that Ali looked bad – I mean I guess it was no worse than wearing a bikini to dinner with a cover up, but still – as a dress, I’m not sure it qualifies. As they snuggle up at dinner and Roberto declares he needs to tell her something, who didn’t get choked up as he tells her that he’s falling in love with her? Oh how this show clutches at my heart strings! I think even The Husband got teary eyed. He will never admit that.

When the date card arrived, I fell in love with Roberto even more because he was clearly surprised. This means he has never seen the show before – which raises my respect level for him. He’s out playing baseball and being honorable – no time for watching this repeated “should you decide to forego your individual rooms, you may choose to stay together as a couple in our fantasy suite,” fantasy date card from Chris H. Sweaty Roberto and Ali’s fantasy suite was really romantic, though kind of on the small side. As they close the curtains, I’m thinking – boy, this date is going to be hard to beat…

Except for Chris’s date!! I loved watching Chris and Ali’s time in Tahiti. These two actually enjoy talking on their dates in addition to groping each other. Ali loves his giggle (who wouldn’t?). The whole cracking of oysters and finding pearls was pretty awesome. The Tahitian sunsets were incredible and also gave Ali and Chris wonderful glows. Ali notes a couple of things that didn’t make it to this week’s show: (1) The two of them went fishing, and Ali caught two fish, Chris – none.  (2) I guess some live musicians showed up at their deserted island to play music for them and as they were coming toward them Chris asked Ali whether he was going to have to wrestle with any of them.  Honestly – is anyone funnier than this guy?  Once Chris starts saying how watching his dad be with his mom in her final days taught him how important it is to tell people how you feel – I knew this was going to be a great night. Chris believes that putting himself out there is a good thing. Anyone else choked up here? The whole, “You know I could see myself with you forever,” that Chris says to Ali and her “Really?” and his “Really” in response was pretty awesome. The Husband can’t control his laughter at this point. I’m not sure why he thinks it’s funny. I think it’s romantic.

Chris’s reaction to the fantasy date card was pretty hysterical. He’s looking for Chris Harrison to come out of the ocean in snorkel gear. Then he’s like, “There’s a FANTASY suite here?” followed by an “Uh, YEAH!” when Ali asks him if he’d like to go there. At least she doesn’t pretend that she’s just interested in spending more time with him. Once they arrive there he actually tells her that he loves her. Oh my!! I really hope Ali doesn’t crush him!!  I was very surprised that Chris put it out there that he’s willing to go with Ali wherever she wants, so long as they visit Massachusetts four times a year.  He’s ready for an adventure.  I thought he’d want to stay closer to his dad, and I hope Ali is willing to let him do that.

So after two of the best dates I have ever seen on this show, Ali is all giddy and excited about seeing Frankie and taking him sailing. We all know what’s coming and I’m actually cringing holding my face when Frank sits down with Ali and tries to figure out what to say to her. When Ali starts crying before he says a word, it’s obvious she knows it’s over. Poor thing. The whole Chris Harrison pep talk was kind of comical. This guy is both show host and therapist. Chris indicates in his blog that Frank had contacted him about the issue before Tahiti, but he thought Frank was going to Chicago to get closure, not to decide he’s in love with Nicole.

Flash forward to the rose ceremony and Ali is all done up again in Tahitian wear. I loved her earrings and the flowers in her hair. I’m glad that she still has high hopes that her husband is still there regardless of Frank’s departure (because why else are we watching this show if not for a happy ending with one of these incredible guys?). I also loved the quote her friend told her – about how nobody can make her feel inferior without her consent.
So then Ali tries to add some drama to the rose ceremony even though there are two roses and two guys left by saying it’s really about them accepting the rose back. Like there’s any doubt they are going to accept the rose.

Briefly I thought they would all have to fly back to Massachusetts to meet her parents but then I remember that the show springs to fly everybody to wherever Ali is. I am so excited to see Bora Bora for the finale! It’s been a crazy ride this week, but I am glad we are finally done with Frank and down to the best two guys. It’s a shame she can’t continue to date both of them for the next year because they are both so awesome. Gratefully, Mike Fleiss has decided not to tell us the ending. In fact, there were no scenes except for the very end with Ali standing in her gold dress in Bora Bora. Please keep it that way!!

What did you think of this week’s show? Are you for Roberto? Chris? Are you glad that Frank is gone? Do you think she is going to choose nobody? Please no quoting from spoilers you’ve seen or read. Let’s have opinion only based on what you’ve seen from the show. Enjoy your week!

Stacey B