Oh My, ‘The Bachelorette’ Season 6 has begun! Shooters, Hunters, Wrestlers (review)


Season 6 of The Bachelorette kicked off to a highly anticipated new crop of 25 competitors seeking the heart of Ali Fedotowsky, the 25 year old adorable blonde from the Bay area (originally from New England).  I found myself getting immediately sucked in to the Bachelorette formula:  the arrival of the limos, the back stories of a promising few and Ali’s proclamations that she is there to find her husband.  Will she find true love?  What will the scandals this season be?  First impressions of Ali’s season: there are about 4-5 guys who are good candidates for Ali.  The rest are just there to make fun of. 

Let’s first discuss Ali herself.  While still a very attractive girl, there seemed to be something different about Ali’s looks last night.  There was way too much make-up, way too much hair and way too much dress.  What the viewers liked about Ali last season was her down to earth style.  Ali looks best after hiking in the woods all day, wearing a simple yellow t-shirt and jeans.  We want to see more “Soccer Ali,” showing off her athletic skills, being a guy’s gal – not some prom Barbie.  She doesn’t need hair extensions that make her hair have a slightly “Cousin It,” static-like look to it.  Also, the dress she was wearing did not do her any justice.  Black was such a morbid color for her – she’s about to meet the love of her life and yellow is her favorite color – why couldn’t she have worn something that didn’t look like she was heading to a black tie funeral or piano concert?  It should have reflected her outgoing, carefree and fun personality. Bad job, Stylists.  Also, she was wearing a long chain diamond necklace that choked her around the neck and dangled down her back.  I didn’t really get it.  Maybe that’s the style now, but it was just a bit odd.  It looked a bit like she had a diamond leash on or that her necklace simply fell down her back and needed to be yanked back into place.

Later on in the show, Ali started to look better.  Maybe the make-up melted off, or maybe the lighting she stumbled into was a happy accident, but she started to look (at least her face), like the old Ali.  As predicted, ABC portrayed her as the heartbroken girl who chose her job over love, the biggest regret of her life.  I started a count meter on how many times Ali used the expression “I gave up everything to be here. My job. My apartment.”  I lost count after the sixth time.  I’m guessing this will be a repeated phrase this season.  It’s already overused.  For some reason, I didn’t feel much sympathy for Ali when she said this.  Perhaps it’s because she didn’t really lose her apartment – she moved into a mansion and from what last night’s preview showed us, she will be taken on first class trips around the world to date some really cute dudes.  And as for her job, I am sure she’s getting paid something to be on the show.  So it’s not like she’s living in the street, with only her Converse sneakers and a dream. 

Let’s talk about these guys.  Right off the bat, I have a few favorites.  I absolutely loved Roberto.  Amazing dimples.  He was a true sexy type, seems genuinely interested in Ali and I liked his personality.  When Ali gave him the first impression rose, you could see some early fireworks taking off between these two.  He seems to come from a great family with parents who are still in love.  It was kind of cute how nervous Ali was when she gave her little speech to Robert about how he made her feel comfortable.  He just rubbed her arm as if to say, “Have no fear. I’d like to stay in this mansion for at least a week.”  I found myself smiling at the TV watching these two interact.  A sure fire sign that I am under the spell of this crazy show.

The stretched out McDreamy from Grey’s Anastomy, Craig, was instantly annoying.  Actually maybe it was his hair and loud tie that were annoying.  He talked too much.  He looked older than the rest of these guys and I’m not sure what Ali found attractive in him.  I also didn’t like how he says, at age 33, that he still hits the clubs in Toronto but that he’d “be willing to give all that up” for Ali.  What a sacrifice.  I loved Hunter’s comments about Craig and how he’s only on the show for the hair products. 

Speaking of Hunter, his song on the ukulele was both cute and funny.  That along with his sort of deer in headlights look pass as adorable for now.  I still like that his ears stick out just a little bit, if only because it makes him look earnest and sincere.  His first impression gesture out of the limo was to tell Ali he had to hit the bathroom.  Was he drunk already when he showed up?  Couldn’t he have waited the 30 seconds until he was safely inside the mansion to take care of this issue?  No reason for Ali to have this information.  He had some sharp words to say about the other guys which, although true, may paint him as an angry type down the road if he keeps it up.  As any successful Bachelorette competitor knows – to stay in the game long term, you have to just go with the flow, and put blinders on to the annoying losers around you.  Head in the game!

My favorite right now is Chris L.  They gave him some great air time on his background – and how he was a public school teacher but went back home to be with his mother before she died.  He’s now a landscaper and can get a job anywhere (read: wherever Ali is).  I mean, who couldn’t respect that?  Not to mention, Chris L is pretty damn easy on the eyes.  When Ali had her alone time with this Chris, she asked him whether his parents were still happily together and he decided to answer “yes,” noting that it wasn’t the time to get into his mother’s death.  I respect that decision and think it shows tact.  He was confident enough to let Ali get to know him without playing the sympathy card.  He’s confident and mature.  I like him.

My favorite before last night was Chris H (not to be confused with Chris Harrison, the Host) based purely on his headshot.  He still wins “Best Head Shot,” but they didn’t give him much air time.  Ali still picked him, so hopefully we will get to see more of him, although I didn’t see him in any of the previews of the season (too bad).  There was another Chris with dark hair who Ali also chose.  I wonder how confusing it will be to have 3 Chris’s running around.
Then there was Shooter.  Shooter.  Seriously?   Did anyone else think he looked like a drunk Woody Harrelson?  I don’t want to spend any more time on this guy. 

One guy who I think people will either love or hate: Frank.  His glasses may bother you, but it’s probably his talkative and intense personality that’s behind it all. Yes, it’s great that he quit the Big Bad Business world to pursue his dream of becoming a screen writer and he seems to be immediately obsessed with Ali, but his outgoingness already feels a bit overbearing.  And in the real world, he’s a 30 year old dude who lives with his parents.  That’s going to get old real fast for Ali. 
As for Justin (aka “Rated-R”), the entertainment wrestler, when almost everybody votes for you to go home it’s either because (1) you are the biggest competition or (2) you’re the biggest loser.  Justin’s repeated claims that he’s there for the right reasons conflict majorly with his “wrestling personality.”  If you’re 26 years old and have aspirations for being in the entertainment industry, how could going on The Bachelorette not be a chance to further his career?  This should always be a concern for Ali. It would be for me.  To Justin’s credit, I did like his grandmother and family.  They seemed like a nice bunch.

Jay the 29 year old from Rhode Island who does personal injury law with his dad and brother could potentially look cute if he got a haircut.  Without the haircut, he has that personal injury lawyer look.  Also the suit he wore was very court room like.  It looked like he was ready to go to trial.  Although he seemed like a mature and decent person, Ali would be bored to tears.  Evidently she thought so too and sent him home.  Probably what killed it the most is that he kept referring to her as “Sweetie.”  That’s like fingernails on a blackboard to me.  Don’t Sweetie her.  She’s not a lollipop.
Did anybody else really like Phil the investment banker who trained for a triathlon as a way to heal after his brother’s death?  From his photo, Phil looked very square and probably too straight arrow for Ali.  But I loved the background interview we saw on him at the beginning of the show and he was one that I was pulling for.  I don’t think Ali got to know him enough – I bet she would have liked him.  He was really cute too with an incredibly fit physique.
Kyle the “Outdoorsman” from Colorado who spends 90% of his day outside never had a chance.  This guy was a modern day caveman.  It would have been awesome to see Ali arrive at his home where he stuffs and hangs on his wall everything he hunts.  Kyle seemed bummed when he got the boot, saying he thought Ali claimed to like fishing.  That’s true, Kyle, but I think for Ali, it’s more of a hobby rather than a way to survive.
They say if you don’t know who the jerk in the room is, it’s you.  That’s kind of how I feel about Jonathan the Weatherman.  He’s another one who didn’t know when to stop talking and oozed a bit of dorkiness.  That said, I have a friend who knows this guy, so having an indirect personal connection with him, I will reserve further judgment until we get to know him a bit better.

Another one of my favorites was Ty from Tennessee with the sideburns.  He had beautiful big brown eyes and a kind smile.  He seems genuinely nice and I loved his Southern accent.  The fact that he’s only been divorced for a couple of months (we’re talking weeks!), however, is a major red flag. This guy is about as ready to get married as a newborn.  We’ll need to learn more about why he got divorced to determine whether he can possibly be in the right mindset to meet somebody new.

Jesse’s whole, “How do you feel about dating a peculiar man?” speech he gave Ali upon meeting her didn’t instantly click with Ali.  Even after he told her that he was from Peculiar, MO, she was kind of like – Um, ok.  He’s 24 years old.  This turkey needs time to cook.  Ali seemed to like the wood heart necklace he made for her.  Jesse seems like a player to me based on the amount of hair gel he uses.  I am not into this guy.

My mother called to tell me that Kasey, the 27 year old man who vows he will always be able to protect Ali’s heart, has marbles in his mouth.  She said she couldn’t understand a word he said and wished he would stop mumbling.  I agree with this assessment.  This guy was way too intense for a first meeting. He’s like the male Michelle from last season with Jake.  It’s nice that him and Ali were able to bond over their parents’ divorces at age 12, but the additional information that his father cheated on his mother could have waited.  That may have been the alcohol talking. The previews hint that Kasey may be involved in one of the upcoming “shocking” episodes.  Perhaps involving an ambulance and Kasey having a bandage over his wrists.  Is this guy fatal attraction?  Suicidal?  We’ll have to wait.

John C’s gift and proposal using a cubic zirconia ring was cheesy, but original.  Not sure what to make of Craig R, the lawyer from Chicago.  On the one hand, I liked his yellow Converse key chain that he gave Ali.  On the other hand, he is already warning Ali that some of the guys may not be there for the right reasons.  These whistleblowers never make it long term on this show.  Their paranoia is their own demise.
Tyler M made me laugh.  This guy totally thought long and hard about how to impress Ali out of the limo.  The best thing he could come up with was to wear cowboy boots with his suit because, as he tells Ali, she was wearing them when she came out of the limo on Jake’s season.  This would have been somewhat thoughtful had Ali in fact been wearing boots. But she didn’t.  Mission failed.  She should have booted him right there.
Jason’s backflip off the limo was the most original greeting in bachelor/bachelorette history.  Unfortunately, I don’t think he really stood out after that point.  He did manage, however, to excite Chris Harrison.  I think Chris was ready to give him a rose.  
The last person I’ll mention is Kirk. He’s a brave soul for not only making a scrapbook for Ali, but for actually admitting it to any other human being.  Especially his competitors.  The guys must have had a field day making fun of him for it (all the while secretly wishing they had thought to do the same thing).  Ali didn’t think it was cheesy – she gave him a rose in the end.

And so the first rose ceremony was upon us.  Ali walks into the room of eager men and has this continued habit of fastening her arms to her sides and hunching up her shoulders to her ears.  Maybe she’s freezing, nervous or she’s hiding a hickey.  In any event she begins the ceremony with a speech saying the typical, “This was really difficult” and that if somebody does not receive a rose, it’s nothing personal.  How could it not be personal?  Basically, Ali met everybody, had the whole night to chat these men up, and then decides who she’s just not that into.  Of course it’s personal.
Roses go to: Jesse, Ty, Craig R (lawyer, who is looking a little like Toby from The Office, according to The Husband), Tyler V, Frank, Steve (who looks remarkably like Adam Kendall, Mary Ingalls’s husband from Little House on the Prairie), Chris L (my favorite), Kirk (Scrapbook), John C, Chris N, Chris H (also cute), Hunter, Craig M (stretched out McDreamy), the Weatherman (Jonathan), and  Marble Mouth (Kasey). 

Can she just choose Chris L right now?  I’m guessing there will be a lot of drama before that happens.  My favorites are him, Chris H, Roberto, Ty and Tyler.  I’m ready to send the rest home.  I miss Phil already.  Best of luck to him and the rest of the first round rejects. 

Til next week, Bachelorette fans: 
Who are your favorites? 
Who did you hate? 
What did you think of Ali as the Bachelorette?

Stacey B