Vulnerability, Strength and Elvis: Overall, this week’s episode of “The Bachelor,” was a little high on the boring scale. There wasn’t too much drama – just more of the same. Ladies crying. The concept of the NASCAR date was also absurd (video below).
Michelle being Michelle and the most predictable rose ceremony of all time. Obviously Marissa and Lisa (who are they?) were getting the boot as we’ve learned absolutely nothing about them except that Marissa likes to create compilations of text messages and poetry for her boyfriends. Poor girl. I thought when Brad said he had changed his mind about one of the girls he was sending home at the rose ceremony party that Chantal may have been a gonner (particularly when he called her last for a rose). But then I realized this is just the producers messing with us, and Chantal is #1 or 2 on his list right now. The way he looks at her is unlike any of the other ladies.
The Shopping Spree was completely absurd. How on earth is taking someone to a mall and running through stores with them while they get as many things as possible a good way to get to know if someone is wife material? At what point does Shawntel (or anyone) think – hmmm, I’m all done shopping. Let’s stop getting unlimited luxury items. I’m satisfied. Brad said in his blog that he chose Shawntel for this date because she’s particularly unassuming. I’m guessing that Shawntel acted very differently on this date than say, Michelle would. I take Shawntel to be a down to earth, almost earthy type. It would almost be embarrassing to be showered with so many over the top articles of clothing and accessories. The look on the ladies’ faces when she brought all of her loot home was priceless. Good for her – she was a total knockout in every outfit she tried on. I think Brad was wasted at dinner during their conversation about embalming. He couldn’t stop laughing, but I think Shawntel is the first girl that has made him laugh, which is a good sign for her. I give the man credit for finding Shawntel’s profession charming. I’m sure there’s plenty of dead bodies that Shawntel could embalm in Austin, Texas should she decide to move there. It looks like from next week’s show that she’s dropping “L” bombs on him. Holy cow. That was fast. See what a good pair of ridiculously expensive pumps and a skin tight dress bought at Fendi will trigger?
The concept of the NASCAR date was also absurd (video below). This was definitely planned by the male writers. Maybe it’s because I’m a New Yorker and I don’t really get the whole drive a car around in a circle for hours thing. I know people absolutely love it. I just don’t really see it as a romantic opportunity to get to know Brad and his biceps very well. Unless he was in the car with the ladies. Or at least have the ladies compete in a race with the winner getting some alone time with Brad.
Chris Harrison promised that tonight’s NASCAR date would be full of emotion with respect to Emily Maynard and Brad. I understand that Brad didn’t know about her ex fiance’s involvement with NASCAR. But I don’t get why he wouldn’t yank her right out of there once he found out the truth, particularly that there was so much of a personal connection to that very Vegas track they were on. Emily handled it all with such class, as usual. I had the utmost respect for her to go through with the date activity. It was interesting to hear that she’s had a tough time finding a guy who can deal with her past. My respect for Brad shot up when he gave her the rose on that date. How many of us thought he was going to send her home? His whole speech about not knowing what to do with her because he had big shoes to fill. Blah blah blah. As if there was a chance he’d send home the Mother Teresa Barbie.
So much crying this week. The Ashleys both cried when they found out they were going on the two versus one date. Chantal lost it during the NASCAR date and later on. Alli lost it because she doesn’t feel “special.” Then you saw the waterworks come out when poor Ashley S was sent home. If felt terrible for her – mostly because there was no real reason why Brad let her go. They certainly had more chemistry than say, Brad and Alli, but I guess he just felt stronger that having a dentist around would be a better move down the road. As for the whining to Brad about not feeling special and feeling like they were all on Emily’s date, OMG. Everyone calm down! As crazy as she is, Michelle is right: Brad was babysitting this week.
On the Ashley date, it seemed like Brad could really go either way. I thought Ashley H the Dentist would get the boot, but he seems to like her. As soon as Brad described Ashley S as “Sweet,” that was probably the kiss of death (versus the kiss from a rose). Sweet just don’t cut it on this show. I love how Ashley S said she would never forgive herself if Ashley H didn’t receive a rose. But when the situation gets reversed, Ashley H seems only too happy to have Brad all to herself. She immediately became happy for the first time since her carnival date with Brad. Insta-smile.
Top 10 Highlights and then I’m taking a snooze on this train with the rest of my fellow commuters:
1. Shawntel describing the “vein drain” during the embalming process. Before Brad gives her the rose he says, “You’re the hottest funeral director I’ve ever met.” How many funeral directors has he met?
2. After the Ashleys find out they are going on a date together, and they start bawling their eyes out, the cameras pan to Michelle who immediately states, “I think this is great. I hope they both go home.” I find Michelle comedic. She’s like the worst actress ever playing the part of a reality contestant using her “assets” to win Brad.
3. Michelle on the NASCAR date: “I am fun and hot and you should see me in a race car.”
4. Alli being really jealous of Emily’s alone time with Brad on the group date. Alli says to the other girls, “We all have our issues. The person with the worst story gets the most attention.” While Alli is licking her wounded heart, Brad is off with Emily, voicing his concern that Emily has not found love since Ricky, despite 6 years having passed. Brad contrasts this with the fact that he’s been in love a couple of times. Emily’s response: “You’re a little older than me, my Dear.” I love this girl.
5. The “Are You Lonesome” tonight Elvis song playing during Brad and Ashley H’s performance and then the camera panning to Ashley S who is sobbing her eyes out in the car ride home. Yes, we get it, Ashley is lonely. That was a little too planned. But almost funny cause it’s ridiculous.
6. Brad saying he “doesn’t want drama in his life” when he’s referring to Chantal giving him crap and crying about not wanting to stay if Brad doesn’t “feel for her.” This cracks me up. Brad not wanting drama? Ummm, does he know what going on the Bachelor TWICE will result in?
7. Alli getting perked up because Brad brought her a little cake that had some green that matched a dress she wore. And this literally being the highlight of Alli’s life. Brad hasn’t had a one on one with Alli yet, so it should be interesting to see whether they will get this opportunity or whether Brad just enjoys seeing her HUGE ta-tas come out in bikinis and revealing dresses at rose ceremonies, but doesn’t consider her marriage material. Her crying at this stage in the game does not bode well for her.
8. Michelle kidnapping Brad away from the girls to alleviate the tension. Her telling him not to speak and just staring into his eyes in a dramatic way. This completely reminded me of a soap opera. Michelle would make an amazing soap opera actress! But she’s using the Bachelor to practice her acting skills. There is a 0% chance she’s actually interested in Brad. I hope he realizes this soon, although she’s quite entertaining and is playing this thing right. Notice how she’s not crying when Brad goes off with the others? It’s because she doesn’t care.
9. Chantal’s dress at the rose ceremony. Elvira?? What was with the see-through cleavage situation?
10. Blush. I have never seen so much blush and bronzer in my entire life as these girls use. I know they have to wear a certain percentage more of makeup for the camera, but it literally looks like some of these girls have applied pink construction paper to their cheeks. They don’t need it – they are all beautiful!
Britt and Jackie need to step it up if they want to stay. The preview for the rest of the season looks really cool. Should be interesting to see who Brad goes zip lining with – that should be a big bonding experience.
Stay warm, Bachelor fans. And if you’re stuck inside, tell me what you thought of this week’s show.