The Bachelor Visits St. Croix


There are 3 surefire ways to get the boot on any given season of The Bachelor:

(1) Complain as much as possible.  Either in general (e.g., “It’s so hot,”  ”My make-up is running”) or something specific that others want to murder you for (e.g., Tierra complaining that she didn’t get a date on the water (because she’s SUCH a great swimmer) instead of a walk around town when others would be willing to drink goat milk for any one on one Sean time);

(2) Initiate the bad mouthing of another girl to the Bachelor.  Nobody asked – you just feel the need to “help him out” or “point out the true colors of another competitor.”  This always goes wrong.  The Bachelor is annoyed you’re causing drama and not focused on just HIM HIM HIM.  If you’re talking about another girl and nobody asked you, you’ve probably got one foot out the door.

(3) If The Bachelor asks you about another girl, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t volunteer the info – you’re soon to be dumped.  Lesley was asked about the drama in the house.  This week, she’s gone.  It’s not her fault, of course.  But if the Bachelor is asking you about someone else, it’s a very bad sign – mostly because if he actually liked you, he wouldn’t care about the drama, the hated girl and the cause of all of it.  He’d be so into you, it would seem like a waste of time to bring it up.  AshLee got past this last round, but let’s be honest – Sean’s on the fence about her.  She’s certainly one of the hottest girls left and even Lesley’s adorable rose ceremony dress (that might be the best dress a contestant was ever sent home in) could not match his passion for AshLee (or her tight fitted banana yellow curve hugging dress)

Some quick thoughts on this week’s show and I’m going out of order chronologically:

AshLee is a strong girl – that was such an intense scene between Tierra and her that I wasn’t sure how AshLee would survive. My heart would have been racing with rage during that interaction.  AshLee contained her composure miraculously (almost like she had just finished a yoga workout) – even when Tierra started spewing nasty remarks about AshLee’s age.

I hate the following expressions: “throw under a bus” and “sabotaged my relationship with Sean”

The Husband and I both applauded when Sean had his “time to ditch Tierra” epiphany.  BRAVO, Sean.  BRAVO.

The Husband is also threatening that he is going to take my sparkle away from me.  As if!

I thought Tierra was DEFINITELY going to come back, all composed and fight for another chance.  Still not sure we’ve seen the last of her.  Isn’t there always someone who comes back on the exotic overnight dates? I’m sure the producers would fly her back for some drama.

Catherine was more upset about Lesley going home than Lesley was.  The editing in the previews made it look like Catherine was crying because of something Sean did with Tierra.  I’m very confused about this crying.  Shouldn’t Lesley going home mean that you are one step closer to marrying Mr. Dreamboat?  Catherine believes (to the point of tears) that Lesley had more in common with Sean than she did?

Sean’s sister was very attractive – and I LOVE that she kept giving it to him straight – don’t pick the girl that doesn’t get along with the other girls.  I also LOVED that she made reference to Ben Flajnik’s season and his choice of Courtney Robertson when she warned Sean against picking the girl that everyone hates (which has happened in past seasons).  Brilliant advice.

AshLee’s screaming of “I LOVE SEAN” on their date was both terrifying and amazing.  First off, I have to admit – it gave me chills.  Don’t ask me why.  I’m not even sure if I like AshLee.  I think it reminded me of Sean’s date with Emily Maynard in London when he got up on some pedestal and started preaching about love.  Her willingness to fall so hard, so fast and the fact that this man, in a matter of weeks, has allowed her to overcome her childhood abandonment issues is so ridiculously unbelievable, that I can’t stop watching where their relationship goes.  AshLee’s sudden love for Sean is like that Phish song, “like an antelope out of control”   I picture her organizing the other women’s date outfits and shoes by color and style in between dates.  There’s something extremely intense about her that I’m not sure quite matches up with Sean’s happy-go-lucky personality.

I so thought AshLee’s “secret” would be that she has a child, got divorced or was in jail for murdering someone as a minor.  It would have been kind of fun to learn she was a jailbird.  Not that getting married as a high schooler is much better.  Does this not show that she was a headstrong, stubborn teenager who was out of her mind for a while?  Is that the kind of thing that can be tamed?

Is Sean attracted to women with major life problems or struggles in life?  We’ve got Catherine whose dad tried to commit suicide in front of her and who now lives away from the family.  Was that before or after a tree fell on Catherine’s friend in summer camp?  We’ve got AshLee who was abandoned, married and divorced before she was 18 (and is now in love with Sean).  We’ve got Dez who grew up in a trailer park and was embarrassed about her upbringing and who has a questionably hostile brother based on next week’s previews.  Does Lindsay the bridal gown girl not seem like a prize in comparison?  And what about Lesley?  Didn’t we all love Lesley? I think we can all admit that they had less passion and chemistry in comparison with the other girls, but still – she was just so NORMAL.  How is she supposed to compete with trailer parks, falling trees and abandonment?!  Come on Lesley, get a problem!  Sean definitely seems almost intrigued by these ladies’ struggles.  Am I wrong?

Tierra.  Oh my gosh, Tierra.  I do believe she really liked Sean.  I also think she was really immature and didn’t know how to deal with the pressures of being in the house.  She put herself in that position, but I still don’t think she’s the most horrible person in the world.  She was mean to AshLee about her age (Could Tierra be any ruder to not only think that 32 is “cougar” age but to actually say to AshLee’s face that she hopes that at 32, she’ll be married with children??).

Why didn’t we see a night time segment to Lesley’s date?

The girls must have been exhausted on that group date.  4 AM wake up to a 6 something sunset. I would have been sleeping in the car.  I was shocked that Sean gave Lindsay the rose on that date – mostly because Catherine poured her heart out about her family and Dez was openly crying to him and Sean LOVES tears.  This proves to me that Sean values light hearted conversation over deep talks and tears.  AshLee seems to be incapable of small talk.  But that’s ok, because she makes up for that by being long and lean and willing to roll around on the beach making out with Sean as the waves gently crash on top of them.  I also noticed the dramatic Bachelor music was in full gear this episode, particularly on AshLee’s date.

Tierra loves fig? How random of a love. Speaking of love, you have to admire Tierra’s self confidence in the wake up being attacked by AshLee.  ”Men love me,” Tierra fires at her.  But my favorite line of the night was Tierra defending her much talked about eyebrows. “I can’t control my eyebrow.”  Wow, so they really are that expressive on their own.  No botox as Tierra gladly announces.  Pretty amazing!  There will be lots of things said about Tierra over the next few days – but you have to admit, she played a very good game for Sean. When she baby talks him, flashes her big smile and looks up at him asking for comfort, it’s hard for Sean to wonder what the other girls are so crazed about.  I hope that in watching back these episodes, any questions he had about her were safely put to rest.

The Husband and I were looking up The Buccaneer hotel in St. Croix during the episode – too bad there are no direct flights from NY.  We’d have a blast there.

What an awesome episode!  But even better – hometown dates look like they’ll be INSANE.  We’ve never seen a Bachelor get into a borderline verbal altercation with a member of a contestant’s family before.  Dez’s brother may prove he’s the king of the trailer park.  How can anyone doubt Sean’s integrity?  A guy who is looking for love on a reality tv show?  Who could question such a concept?  HOLY cow, Guys, I can’t wait til next Monday!!!

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