I love a good Bachelorette villain. The kind that makes us drop our mouths after horrible words come flying out with absolutely no filter or care in the world. Since the second he flew in on a helicopter, we knew Kalon was trouble. Not the same kind of trouble as Ryan, who is flirtatious, enjoys toying with Emily and thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. I mean real trouble – the kind who wears designer button down shirts under a designer half zip sweater and loves to gel up his hair in a wavy, self-important way. Everything about Kalon just feels snobbish. He’s the guy you expect to run into at an exclusive golf club, with a pastel sweater thrown over his shoulders and an iced lemonade with a little umbrella drink always on hand. I think we were all pretty convinced before this week that he was not a good match for Emily. But then he starts talking Ricki baggage and we know it’s going to get ugly. Ahhh, at least the “bad guy” is done. Now we just have to worry about Ryan.
Kalon was so ridiculous when he tried to rehearse the Romeo role. He took it way too seriously. When he said to Emily, “You can go run along…” and basically sends her away, Emily should have sent him home at that exact second. What an ass. It’s like – hello, Kalon, this isn’t a real play and you’re not really being cast as Romeo. There’s no thespian career for you at the end of this. You’re on a reality TV dating show and the object of your affection is trying to spend some time with you. How about not telling her to leave? At least Emily sees right through him. We know he’s going home at this point, it’s just a matter of when. It’s funny how Kalon sees Ryan as the threat, Ryan sees Arie as the threat and Arie sees himself as the threat, knowing he screwed up by not outing Kalon’s treachery.
We certainly got to see a different side of Emily Maynard this week. Besides the episode where Ali Fedotowsky told off Justin “Rated R” Rego, this may have been one of the only times we’ve seen a Bachelorette kick a guy off the show in such utter anger. In Sweet Emily style, as soon as Doug reveals that Kalon’s the villain, she smiles and describes how angry she is, yet she’s calm and elegant as ever. Poor Doug – he was so excited to have something to talk to Emily about other than their kids. Instead, Emily spends the rest of the episode scolding the guys that nobody has her back. You can just hear Doug’s brain working, “But I told you…”
Sean and Jef got their highly anticipated one on one dates this week. They certainly are high up in the rankings and seem to be very reliable, “good guy” types worth learning more about it. I don’t see any red flags with either of them except that they are on The Bachelorette. In fact, both seem like fairly good prospects, which perhaps made the London episode slightly dull? I mean, yes, it’s great to see Emily falling for quality, reliable dudes, but I’m not exactly sure we’re going to see the fireworks explode between them as we did with Ali and Roberto (btw, did you see the video of their final date I posted over the weekend? It’s absolutely magical). Still, I’m a cheerleader for true love over cheap drama, so I’m still invested here.
Travis is starting to grow on me. He’s definitely having fun with this whole experience, not getting too hung up on the fact that he hasn’t had a one on one date and he seems to be enjoying his time with the other guys in the house too. He’s funny too, like when he says, “all we do in Mississippi is stay home and read Shakespeare.” From the coming attractions, it looks like Travis will finally get his time with Emily. Emily’s voice in the first 1/3 of the episode was so completely hoarse, it bordered on a froggish whisper. Obviously she was sick, but nobody addressed this or even made a comment that she was ill until the group date. So there we are, watching Emily, thinking – is there something wrong with her? Is she sick? Or is she trying to sound seductive? Luckily, thanks to some incredible outfits and makeup this week, she didn’t at all look sick. It must be horrible to feel like crap, be traveling and have to entertain 10 guys – all while looking stunning on television. Once I’m into the raspy voice phase of a cold, I’m worried about dry-throat. How awful to have to be talking constantly – why didn’t any of the guys bring her a tea at the pub? Talk about having her back. If they really wanted to win her over, they could have laid her down, put her feet up, given her “50 Shades of Grey” and a hot tea. That would have done the trick.
A few odd things about the London episode:
- · When Chris Harrison starts lecturing the guys about how there are only 10 of them left, “but only 1 of you will become Emily’s husband,” I had to roll my eyes. Does this really need to be spelled out for them? If we look at Bachelor franchise history, this is not even really the case. Jason Mesnick managed to somehow take two of the ladies to be his fiancé. I’m not sure if Chris Harrison pointing out that Emily will most likely marry one of them is because he’s trying to be dramatic or he just simply ran out of meaningless remarks.
- · Sean’s love rant at Speaker’s Corner. There he goes again – praising his parents’ and grandparents’ relationships. I found it kind of awkward and even more so that Emily found this, “hot.” And she doesn’t think he’s boring. So good for them. Sean seems like a very stand up guy, if a little on the bland side. Actually, maybe it wasn’t Sean but the actual date they were on that seemed boring.
- · Why does Emily look so orange in some of her cameos? Did they overdo it with the bronzer? She’s starting to look oompa loompa color and she doesn’t need the make-up.
- · So much kissing with so much disease going on. Sean/Jef/Ryan/Arie go in for major kisses. Shouldn’t they have asked her if she was contagious?
Lines that Made the Draw Drop:
Kalon: “If you become part of (Emily’s) life, you have to realize that every date is going to be a group date – you, her and Ricki.”
Kalon: “You’ve just got an exhausted, sick mother who has a child waiting on her now.”
Emily: “I want to go out there and rip his limbs off and beat him with them.”
But my favorite line of the night was when she threw back Kalon’s obnoxious line right at him, “I love to hear you talk, but not until I’m done.” And the fact that she mentions that Kalon grew with a single mom is amazing. Those are the kind of thoughts you have after the confrontation and file under, “things I should have said.” How awesome that Emily got to say right there, in the heat of the moment!
- · Overall, the Shakespeare group date was kind of boring. The highlight was seeing Arie in white tights and boobs. Later at the pub, Cox’s Yard, Arie shows how much he loves putting blankets around Emily and agreeing to catch her disease by kissing her.
- · Second highlight of the night: Doug tries to go comfort Emily after her Kalon rage and she tells him she wants to be by herself. Steaming mad, that lady is! Poor Doug walked away like a puppy with his tail between his legs. It was kind of comical.
What irks me about Ryan besides everything: he’s always got some trick up his sleeve. He’s all into these romantic gestures instead of just acting normally. Yes, he’s trying to distinguish himself to Emily, but giving her a necklace, writing her a 7 page love letter, acting out a Shakespeare scene in private – these all make me a bit nauseous. Emily doesn’t need any of these things. She needs a reliable, loveable dude who can stick up for her. Don’t trust Ryan, Emily! He’s turning into the bad boy you just can’t stay away from.
To Turn Kalon in or Not – That is the Question:
I’m not sure Emily can blame the guys for not speaking up about Kalon. Is it really their job to ferret out the bad ones? Doesn’t every contestant need to keep their head in the game and worry about their own relationship with Emily? Haven’t we learned from watching season after season that the person who complains about someone else only looks weak? We saw this with Emily O’Brien calling out Courtney Robertson to Ben. We saw this with multiple women (including Ali Fedotowsky) calling out Vienna to Jake Pavelka. Actually, I think “the call out” might be more effective on a season of The Bachelorette versus Bachelor. The Bachelorettes take the information much more seriously and don’t turn it against the revealer. What do you think about this? Should the guys have stepped up here? Also, Emily is so upset that nobody said something, but ummm, am I crazy to point out that Doug DID actually say something? Doug was talking about this with Arie and Jef and then decided to do something about it. Perhaps this is why Jef and Arie didn’t say anything – they knew it was being handled. Hmmm…
A Jef by Any Other Name Would be “Jeff”:
I loved their pub date far better than the high tea and am glad they decided to ditch Jean. They actually seemed to have the best conversations of any of Emily’s men. Maybe Emily needs someone who knows their handbags. I loved her silver gray lace top with embellished collar on this date along with the white trench and pink belt. What’s interesting about Jef is that he’s not pouring on the affection like the rest of the guys. He’s been holding back a bit and it’s intriguing Emily. This relationship is moving slower than the rest, but it seems very substantial. I don’t think Jef fits the mold of who Emily would have chosen for her ideal man – but I think we’ll have to watch where the relationship goes. It’s a bit intellectual at the moment versus passionate. I loved how when he was finally going to kiss her, the ferris wheel thing started moving. That was such a movie moment. Glad he finally got to plant one on her. He certainly didn’t want to be the only guy that doesn’t get sick. Perhaps Jef had the best Emily line of the season with this, “Emily gives me the feeling that people write fairytales about.” Sighhh. Perhaps HE should have been Romeo.
There’s still something just a tad bit feminine / metrosexual about Jef. Saying that he and Ricki would be having a dance party and singing into hair brushes is very sweet, but very unusual for a heterosexual, single guy in their mid-20s to be excited about. At least Ricki could braid his hair too. I could see her getting a “surf wave” hair-do just like his. Jef wants “someone to share the details with” and that he’d “like to be best friends” with Emily. Wow, I wonder if that’s something you can invite someone to be with you. It’s a nice thought in theory – guess we’ll have to see where it goes.
Shall We Compare Emily to a Summer’s Day in London?:
Emily’s royal blue one shouldered long evening gown was beautiful on her. I love that she gets completely dolled up to be irresistible looking and then basically tells the guys that they made her feel like crap. Then she starts drilling each of them about it. Perhaps the most shocking part of this week is not the Kalon drama. We knew he was a jerk. But the cost of the Kalon drama on Emily’s relationship with Arie seems very expensive. Arie did not live up to her expectations and you can see Emily is extremely disappointed. She questions the entire experience and whether there really is anyone left who can give her what she wants. Arie knows he’s screwed and just before he admitted to be “freaking out,” I turned to The Husband and said, “he’s freaking out.”
Emily used the word “butterflies” with Sean. Did you catch that? Butterflies is a HUGE deal to women. Molly got it for Jason Mesnick. Now Emily has it for Sean. When it comes to trusting your gut and heart, Emily’s butterflies might be a deciding factor.
Roses go to: Doug, Ryan, Chris, John Wolf, Travis and Arie (yes, she was messing with Arie for sure by making him sweat it out). Jef and Sean were already safe. Goodbye Alejandro. The Husband says as Alejandro passes Emily and says goodbye, “I’ll send you some mushrooms, Emily.”
Standings for this week (top 5) on who I think Emily is into:
5. Travis (he made her laugh, which is what she needed most this week)
4. Ryan (Emily’s back to being into him even though he can’t be trusted)
3. Doug (only because he outed Kalon)
2. Jef (he’s ascending quickly, but we need more kissing and affection from him)
1. Sean (he’s the picture of perfection and causes the butterfly effect – he booted Arie out from his #1 standing)
So we’re off to Croatia which looks incredibly fun. Emily seems to have her kissing guys picked out and you can rest assured that the next crew to get the boot will be the Wolf and someone else. She seems to be kissing up a storm going forward. Thank goodness for that.
I’ll keep you posted on the launch of OfficeStace.com – which will be my new blog to continue all of the Bachelor related writing and much, much more.
P.S. Can I just say how upset I am about Arie? He was so clearly our winner and I think he may have really blown it with Emily (not that it was his fault). The good news is that I think he knows it, and will fight hard to try to win back her respect. Arie and Emily just have that passion between us that I don’t see with anyone else. Sean could potentially be a great match for her, but I’d like to see more sparks…
Emily: “I want to go West Virginia, hood rat, back woods on his ass.” (Never heard this expression before but it sounds very ominous).