Untimely Departure for Funeral Director


There’s so much to discuss about this past week’s episode of The Bachelor, I’m not sure where to begin.  Chris Harrison promised us that people would be talking about for months. I’m not sure that “months” is quite accurate, but there were several historic moments that must be pointed out for posterity:

(1) We saw our very first rejection by a contestant of a one on one date. This has never happened in Bachelor history. Brittney shocked us all by rejecting Bachelor Ben. On a bright note, it reminded us how nice having Ben as a Bachelor is versus the previous season. The rejection does not set him into a tailspin. He’s not off crying that the rest of the girls probably wish he was Bentley or something. He’s confident and perfectly ok with Brittney leaving. He even says to the rest of the girls, “Not all of us are going to be matches.” Wow, this is the first time in Bachelor history that a Bachelor has verbally admitted it’s not possible to fall in love with everyone! This, to me, is the most shocking Bachelor moment of all time.

I love, by the way, that not only did Brittney feel the need to interrupt Ben’s group date to break the news, but that she marched right up to him with her luggage in hand – was she running late and there wasn’t enough time to take the extra 10 seconds to leave it by the doorway while she dumped Ben? Maybe she had a plane to catch or she thought Blakeley might steal one of her outfits. Either way, if despite crying during the whole decision making process, thumbs up to Brittney for admitting this early on that living with a bunch of insane women vying over one dude is just not ideal. Sounds like she may have had someone at home or she’s just not a drama queen. Perhaps I’ve overlooked her finer qualities. At least she’ll be going home to a warm grandma.

(2) In the aftermath of Brittney’s leaving, I also don’t think that we’ve seen a sloppy seconds date scenario for a one on one date. Can Lindzi truly enjoy her date knowing that it was designed specifically for Brittney? Doesn’t she have to be thinking – why wasn’t I chosen? Perhaps they did discuss this at some point, but the audience never finds out. Either way, Lindzi didn’t seem to have a resentful bone in her body. She was only too happy to be Brittney for the night. Seeing the Matt Nathanson private concert that Britt was supposed to see. Going to the speakeasy Britt was supposed to dine out at and hanging out at a piano while we once again heard the same David Gray song being played by our talented Bachelor. My only question is whether she got the Neil Lane necklace that was given to Brittney, or did Brit make out like a jewel thief? Lindzi is truly head over heels for Ben at this point – he can do no wrong. The Husband’s comment on her was that she “was very Southern,” to which I clarified that she was from Washington state. Perhaps he was confused by her doting qualities, her raspy voice or her Southern accent that she didn’t have. Who knows.

(3) During the rose ceremony, we’ve never seen a lady hesitate in accepting a rose for that long, then qualifying her acceptance by saying she, “saw (Ben) talking to what’s-her-butt…it wasn’t easy.” Ben should have taken the rose back from Courtney right then and handed it to Shawntel. There were a lot of Courtney red flags popping up around Ben throughout the episode – I really hope he starts to take notice of them.

(4) I’d say it was a first to have a bachelorette faint at the rose ceremony, but I don’t think that’s the case. I seem to remember plenty of women barely being able to keep it together at these things. It’s hard to keep in mind that these ceremonies actually last hours, whereas, we get to see it all in two minutes. Once we saw the outtake of Erika’s inner mouth tattoo, I think we all understood why she got the axe. I’m so glad Ben didn’t give her the sympathy rose. Erika seems like a nice enough person, but anyone that feels the need to tattoo the inside of their mouth every six months has to have some issues.  I, myself, was having heart palpitations watching Ben decide amongst this hostile group of ladies.

And now on to my favorite moments of the night:
• Emily’s date with Ben. The fact that Emily had to actually clamp and unclamp her own life saving devices to the Bay Bridge while she climbed 535 feet into the air was terrifying. She must have really liked Ben to be willing to do something like that with him. No person in their right mind, who is scared of heights, would ever do anything so ridiculous. But this is the infamous adrenaline date, and if Emily has been doing her Bachelor research, she knows that if she goes through with this date, it will launch her into the very top of the top in Ben’s eyes. Former adrenaline dates include: Jake and Vienna bungee jumping; Ali and Roberto jumping off a building together and Brad and Chantal O (not Shawntel from this week) also jumping off some sort of very high natural object together. These dates are a proven bonder. If Ben had a date like this with Brittney’s grandmother, he’d probably end up with her. 

• Did anyone else notice that Ben had a shiny coat of pink lip gloss on during most of the filming of his dinner with Emily? Looks like there was some serious making out. Very nice shade of pink, Ben.

• Monica telling Ben, as they are driving to the ski date and the little photo of Rachel comes on in the dashboard followed by a picture of Blakelely, “I’d rather see Rachel…” Oooh, I guess the brief love affair between Monica and Blakeley is done.

• Courtney toasting the other women at the cocktail party, moments before Shawntel’s arrival, to “a drama free night.”

• My favorite moment of the night: When Shawntel arrives at the rose ceremony party, struts past all of the women, approaches Ben combined with seeing his reaction while the women finally realize that a hot woman has arrived to poach on their man. Let the fireworks begin!

Some noteworthy WTF (What the Fudge) moments:

•   Can everyone stop comparing the adrenaline dates to diving into a new relationship? Yes, we know it’s scary to “put yourself out there” but it’s not going to stop you from doing it, is it?

•  I kind of don’t understand the bikini skiing thing. The ladies looked very cute in their sun dresses and mini shorts on their way to the date. They supposedly had no idea where they were going, so did they all happen to just be wearing bikinis? And even if it was 85 degrees out, isn’t going really fast on slushy snow kind of dangerous? I guess padding isn’t sexy.  And what better way to feature half naked women in public than to send them skiing in bikinis?

• Ben saying that Kacie B “is going to be trouble for him” in a good way of course. But then he calls her “really sweet” and that “she sparkles.” This is kind of an oxymoron.

• Blakeley’s long black feather earrings. Did she kill a bird on the ski date?

• Ben advising Blakeley, after Blakeley admits the girls all hate her and that they’re spiteful and jealous that she should, “try to make friends.” LOL. As if.

• What kind of ridiculous word game on paper were Ben and Nicki playing??  But boy did that trigger venom to fly out of Courtney’s mouth: Courtney: “These women are naïve and juvenile. Nicki, bless her heart you look like an idiot.”  This was followed up by Courtney stating, “Blakeley, you’re the kind of girl a boyfriend cheats on someone with.”

Things that really annoyed me:
• Lindzi being all ga-ga goo-goo eyed over Ben when he is able to unlock City Hall with his very own key.  She says, “I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s kind of amazing.”   Really? You don’t know that he’s the Bachelor and the date you are on is going to pale in comparison with probably 99% of all dates you’ll go on in the future, and it wasn’t even yours to begin with?  I know, I’m being a little harsh on Lindzi, mostly because I find her name very difficult to spell correctly repeatedly, but also because I want her to toughen up a bit and stop acting like a lovestruck teenager every time Ben enters the room.
• Shawntel’s comment on the drive to San Fran, “He’s going to totally fall in love with me.”  I don’t really mind that Shawntel said this, so much as that the producers probably told her to say something crazy.  For one, it doesn’t even sound like something Shawntel would say. I hate when they put words in the contestants’ mouths.

• The reaction to Shawntel was far and beyond one of the most horrific scenes in Bachelor history.  If they had shown some of those clips to Ben before the rose ceremony, he could have knocked out 2/3 of the women easily.  Erika had some really nasty things to say, in particular – commenting on Shawntel’s thighs.  Really?  You have a tattoo on the inside of your mouth and you want to attack Shawntel’s amazing body?  And don’t get me started on Jaclyn, or I may never stop.  How she can possibly insult Shawntel’s profession and call her Brad’s dumpster trash? It made my mouth drop open.  They should throw them both off the show for being quite possibly, the meanest females on this show since Jackie Gordon insulted Michelle Money on the Women Tell All of Brad’s Season.  Jaclyn should not be making comments like, “I think I am better than Shawntel.”  Mostly because it’s just not true.  And all along, Shawntel just sat there, defending herself calmly, without lashing out.  Then you have the criers like Nicki who are just so sad that Shawntel is there, saying things like, “What makes her better than other people who have gone home?”  Um, well, nothing except who said this had anything to do with fairness?  Shouldn’t it be all about Ben’s quest to find love?  And yes, the women would be pissed, and yes, they may mistrust everything he had said to them, but if he was remotely, even a speck, interested in Shawntel, shouldn’t he have given it a shot?  Because what happens at the end of the show when, best case scenario, he ends up engaged to someone. Then a few months pass and thinks are rocky and in the back of his mind he wonders WHAT IF? about Shawntel.  Why not date her a bit and confirm that he’s not interested rather than giving in to the wackos that can’t take a little competition?

These ladies may respect Ben now for his decision to send her home, but if he’s even questioning the outcome had Shawntel started at the same time the rest of the group did, that’s an issue. At least it would be for me. Bottom line: is this the last we see of Shawntel? I certainly hope not, but sounds like it may have to be.  Chris said in his blog today that Shawntel’s appearance was a “pivotal” moment that “changed the season.”

So next week, we are off to Park City and it looks like the Courtney vs. Emily showdown heats up!  Be careful, Em!!

Stacey B