Why Martha bought Emeril: Bam was #6


We often aren’t filled in on the real motivating factors behind a communications transaction. But this time, even though they did not participate in the deal, World Wide Pants sent this to us, showing the reasons behind the acquisition of Emeril Lagasse television assets by Martha Stewart. There were ten reasons, actually, recited on CBS’s The Late Show with David Letterman, and they came straight from the deal-makers’ mouths. Here they are. "10. Martha: Now thanks to Dominos 2-pizza deal, I can host a full-blown dinner party for 14 bucks. 9. Emeril: Run out of cream? In a pinch you can substitute Martha Stewart’s white semi-gloss paint. 8. Martha: Before cooking, lick poultry to make sure it doesn’t taste "salmonella-y." 7. Emeril: Keep Regis away from the cooking sherry. 6. Martha: Bam! I’m sorry, I always have wanted to do that. 5. Emeril: An apron is a great substitute for pants. 4. Martha: For plump and juicy meats, inject that stuff Roger Clemens uses. 3. Emeril: Wait until dishes have been cleared before telling guests, "You just ate monkey." 2. Martha: Never let Jane Fonda make a toast. 1. Emeril and Martha: Whatever you do, don’t invite Letterman."