The Emperor’s New Clothes


(My apologies to) Hans Christian Andersen

Once Upon a time there lived an Emperor (radio stockholders) who was so worried about his clothes (stock value) he didn’t know what to do. To him clothes meant more than anything else in the world. He took no interest in his listeners, nor did he care about his employees, or even his advertisers. He only cared about clothes.

In the great city where he lived life was gay and strangers were always coming and going. Everyone knew about the Emperor’s passion for clothes.

Now one fine day two swindlers, calling themselves weavers (Radio CEO’s), spoke up. They declared that they could make the most magnificent clothes that had the special power of being invisible to everyone who was stupid or not fit for his post.

"What a splendid idea," thought the Emperor. "What useful clothes to have. If I had such a suit of clothes I could know at once which of my people is stupid or unfit for his post."

So the Emperor believed the swindlers, and believed that the clothes would be magnificent if you simply changed the clothes “perception.”

Now the Emperor was uneasy. "Suppose," he thought secretly, "suppose I am unable to see the clothes. That would mean I am either stupid or unfit for my post. That cannot be," he thought, but all the same he decided to send for his faithful old minister (NAB President) to go and see.

So the faithful old minister went into the hall where the two weavers sat beside the empty looms pretending to work with all their might. The poor old minister stared and stared. Still he could see nothing, for there was nothing. But he did not dare to say he saw nothing. "Nobody must find out,"’ thought he. "I must never confess that I could not see the stuff." To the Emperor he said when he returned, "The cloth the weavers are preparing is truly magnificent, you just need to believe."

There was great excitement in the palace and the Emperor’s clothes were the talk of the town. At last the weavers declared that the clothes were ready. The Emperor laid aside his clothes and the swindlers pretended to help him piece by piece into the new ones they were supposed to have made. : What gorgeous colors!" they all said.

And so the Emperor set off and it was a great success. All the people standing by and at the windows cheered and cried, "Oh, how splendid are the Emperor’s new clothes. What a magnificent train! How well the clothes fit!" No one dared to admit that he couldn’t see anything, for who would want it to be known that he was either stupid or unfit for his post?

So, the Emperor drew himself up and walked boldly on holding his head high, and the courtiers held on to the train that wasn’t there at all.

Alan Gray, New Generation Broadcasting

Las Vegas, NV